i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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