His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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