He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
