I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How external is "for external use only"?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
