I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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