i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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