um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
