Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
