How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Apparently you make a good broom.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
