All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
