I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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