Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
