Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
