That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
