she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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