OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Buhtt sex?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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