they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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