So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
