if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have aggressive nipples.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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