you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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