CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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