hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
