Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
