How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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