Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
