The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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