last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
