You're so nebulous sometimes
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
