i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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