I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
