I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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