We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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