Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
