i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i would punch a child for taco bell
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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