K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
