We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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