You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
