nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
