Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
