four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
