hotel room ftw
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
