She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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