2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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