i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
