she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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