My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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