i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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