i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
