C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think my tv is drunk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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