we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
