how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
