Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
