we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize