So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
