i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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