I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
