it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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