Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
